Senshi, Robbers, Crossdressers! Mujou Must Train
Pathos couldn't believe this had been his idea.
For the past hour, Mujou had been rambling on endlessly about the mask he'd made for his training. It was styled similarly to the mask seen in the Sailor V manga, but was violet - his senshi color - and adorned at the center with a goldenrod bead he'd gotten from who knew where. The 19-year-old boy was now roaming about the room, striking poses every three steps with the mask on, and generally making a fool of himself.
"Thank God he doesn't have roommates," Pathos said to himself. "They'd be mocking him even worse than I want to right now."
Turning to Pathos, Mujou gave another one of his poses, complete with V sign and syrupy smile. "How do I look, Pathos?"
Covering his face once more with his wing, Pathos gave the same reply he'd been giving so far. "Mujou, this isn't a game. Besides, don't you think we should get going already? It's almost 7:00. You should be in senshi form and out there waiting for the robber!"
Mujou rolled his eyes, took his mask off, and stared Pathos sternly in the face. "Oh, you're so mean, Pathos!" Turning to face his mirror that hung on the wall, Mujou replaced his mask and began making facial expressions to himself, trying to decide which one would look the coolest when he was fighting the robber. "Besides, this guy is just some small town jewel thief - I can take him!"
"Oh, really?" Pathos cawed at his charge. "What about the dead body they found near the scene of his crime last time?" Closing his eyes, Pathos paced on Mujou's bed, trying his best to ignore his senshi's juvenile behavior. "He's not just an ordinary robber, whoever he is, and you need to focus.
"And Mujou..." Opening his eyes, the owl found himself suddenly alone in the room. "...Mujou?" Peering outside the door, Pathos saw Mujou run around a corner toward the exit of the building, and with a look of irritation, flew after the boy, hooting loudly all the while.
Why was this so difficult?
~ * ~
The crowds on campus had thinned out; now it was just students moving around, some getting dinner, some in evening study groups, some trailing home from the late classes and getting to clubs. Whatever the case, Kakera-chan - in full frill and lemon-yellow lace - was only mildly weird, and less weird once those crowds had dispersed as the night came in all around them.
Finding Sailor Psi was going to be harder than imagined, if Pearl had imagined walking around for five minutes and then maybe finding a sign labelled "SAILOR PSI PRESENT" or maybe "SAILOR PSI CAN BE FOUND OVER HERE!" or a large X Marks The Spot. She kept close to the walls, in the shadows, nothing more than a middle schooler up too late and dissolving into that - not worth a second look. It was for this reason - the corner-skulking - that, unfortunately, she barreled straight into one of the students coming around the corner like a shell in mid-career. The student wasn't exactly built like a tank, but Kakera-chan was built like a toothpick, with the result that she fell flat on her butt.
There was only one real response to this.
"EEEEEEK," Kakera said, accusing and woeful, and large tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.
Running was never Mujou's forte, and it certainly wasn't now. Stopping in his tracks with a dizzy, more than bewildered look in his eyes, Mujou peered down to whatever it was that had stopped him - a 5'3 bundle of tears, it seemed; an adorable one, at that - one that sent Mujou into a fit of doe-eyed apologies.
"Ohmygosh, areyouokay? I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!" he crouched down, gently touching her tiny shoulders and looking like he himself was about to burst into a fit of tears. "Please stop crying! I'll buy you ice cream or something, okay?"
As soon as the words "ice cream" were mentioned, though, and owl perched on a nearby street lamp hooted rather insistently. Rolling his eyes, Mujou stuck his tongue out at the owl before looking at the little girl in front of him again. Offering a hand to help her up, the boy said with an enthusiastic grin, "I'm Mujou!"
Alas, the entire time his mask had been on, leaving for a rather awkward first impression.
"EEEEEK," Kakera-chan said again, but this was mainly for effect, as she wasn't actually that hurt. In fact, all she did was start brushing down her skirts. "Are you a cosplayer or something? Oh no I have GRAVEL on the LACE. Gravel is not meant to touch the lace. I'm going to have to go over this with a TOOTHbrush."
She gave a long, sustained bloooooo noise, which seemed to comfort her. "Are you one of THOSE types of cosplayers? Are you an otaku? You can't be an otaku because you're not huge and fat and covered in facial abrasions!"
His mouth hanging open for a moment, Mujou suddenly realized that his mask was still on and promptly removed it, hiding it behind his back as if the little girl hadn't seen it (which she clearly had).
"Oh, that?" Mujou replied with a nervous, obvious giggle. "That's um...uh...a school project." Another hoot resounded, this time indignant. "Anyway, I'm really sorry! What's your name?" he continued, trying to ignore the rather blunt comment about cosplayers. "I really like your dress...even if I did mess it up ohGodI'msorry -"
Stopping himself mid-sentence, Mujou peered inquisitively at the little girl. This was strange - how often did girls this young come around here? "I don't mean to be rude, but isn't it past your bedtime?"
"Hey!" The girl seemed wildly indignant. "How old do you think I am?! I'm fourteen! I may be super-duper cute, almost unnaturally so, but I'm more than old enough to stay out past six o'clock!"
Her cheeks were bright pink: she seemed about to follow this up with some cutting remark like buttface, but then she realized that he had complimented her dress, and her angry-face melted into a sweet smile of sugar syrup delight. "Do you like my outfit? Really?! Isn't it ab-so-lute-ly awesome?! Don't I look great in yellow? Not many people look good in yellow. The fact that I do is pretty special. Duh, it's probably pretty obvious, though, even if you are a cosplayer."
She put her hands behind her back in an effort towards cuteness, which she managed easily. Pearl could flutter with the best of 'em. "My name is Kakera," she added coyly, and then, from absolutely out of the blue: "Hey, if I gave you three thousand yen, would you be my university boyfriend?"
Mujou was saved from having to answer this due to the far-off sound of breaking glass. Everyone else had disappeared; it had gotten dark, and the only light came from the faint and slightly fuzzy security campus lights. "Aw bitches," said the fourteen-year-old. "We'll talk about this later. Bye!"
She took the edges of her skirt in her hands and raced off into the dark, ribbons in her hair bobbing.
Shrugging as the adorably self-centered little girl ran off, Mujou turned to look at Pathos, who'd perched on a nearby building. "Ready to go, Pathos?" he chirped with a grin, returning the mask to his face. Ducking into a nearby alley (funny how much better he was at finding those lately), the boy whipped out his henshin stick.
Pathos flew down to sit upon a nearby dumpster. "Now, Mujou," he said with concern, hoping that the boy was listening for once. "You need to be careful. Sure, this robber isn't as tough as that last battle was, but he's still going to be a good opponent - your senshi fuku doesn't protect you from bullet wounds, you know!"
Rolling his eyes, Mujou stuck a tongue out at Pathos. "You're no fun!" With that, holding his henshin stick high, Mujou called out the words to transform from an over-enthused college student to an over-enthused senshi.
"Psi Crisis Power, Make-up!"
~ * ~
It was only a step from frills to cuffs, from femininity to ... ... well, androgyny, from civilian to revealing his rightful place as Pearl of the Black Moon. Pearl hunkered down in the top of a slightly shabby tree and watched the cause of the noise amiably; a burly man - definitely a man, the elbows were hinged funny and everything - was busy rifling through the cash drawers of a little university shop. The crash of glass had been when he had broken through a window.
It was dark except for the tiny glow of the security lights, but Pearl was fairly sure that the man was wearing a ski-mask over his head. It was nearly as if he had gone to Robbery 101, or swallowed a bucket of burglary cliches. Having emptied the cash drawer, he was now moving on to a safe in the back wall, which was probably filled with nothing more exciting than student IOU checks.
Pearl wouldn't have been there at all except for one glorious fact: miscarriages of justice usually lead to them being righted by boys in ridiculous sailor hats. Anyway, even if a Crisis Senshi or other didn't show up, at least he could watch the robber and pretend he was a police camera or something.
"Just who do you think you are?"
The crook stopped cold in his tracks on his way through the back alley next to the store. Turning around, bag of cash in hand, the robber stared from behind his ski-mask, a face full of confusion and some slight fear peering into the darkness behind him. "What do you want? Who's there?!"
Leaping from the rooftop of the building, a figure dressed in sailor fuku landed in a kneeling position on the other side of the burglar. As the criminal turned his head back in front of him, the new arrival wavered slightly, almost losing his balance from the force of the fall, but rising back up and glaring at the villain.
"Hey, Pathos, I didn't fall this time!" the figure whispered rather loudly to a nearby owl perching on a windowsill.
Clearing his throat, as if he suddenly remembered why he was here, the boy pointed at his opponent. Now that he was clearly visible, the most striking feature in the boy's outfit was a violet mask over his eyes. "Stop right there!" he called out to the burglar. "I am Sailor Psi, senshi of Telekinesis and the Mind's True Perception! If you don't...hey!"
By this time, the robber had blown off whatever Sailor Psi had been blathering about, instead opting to run in the opposite direction and onto the main street. Stammering a bit and faltering slightly, Sailor Psi muttered angrily to himself, "How dishonorable! This never happened to Sailor Moon!"
"You moron!" Pathos yelled with a swift peck at Psi's head. "He's getting away!"
"Ouch!" Sailor Psi yelled right back at his nagging guardian. "That hurt, Pathos! Why are you so mean?"
"AFTER HIM!"
"Oh! Right, I know," the sailor senshi replied with a somewhat embarrassed grin, running after his opponent and nearly tripping a few times on his way out of the back alley.
There! That was it! That was what Pearl had been waiting for!
Pearl won again, he congratulated himself. He was twice as brainy as a weasel with the advantage of being as beautiful as the beautifulest butterfly. As the Crisis Senshi Psi sped after the robber - who Pearl really did not give two hoots about, but whatever, the robber had helped him get Psi into his hot little hands - Pearl shot out of his tree and after Psi, with every gleeful intent of hopefully pushing the boy into the traffic or something excellent.
A figure clad in violet and goldenrod dashed through the broken door of an empty office building, which had closed for the day. The robber must have come in here; the broken door was proof! Walking as silently as he could, Sailor Psi crept a bit further into the lobby of the building.
The sole hiding place in the room was a reception desk, complete with an ugly green fern in a brown vase on top of a meticulously spotless white surface. With a shrill squeak, a mouse scurried across the floor and over Psi's feet. It took all of his willpower not to yelp in surprise, but he had a job to do, and if he uttered a sound the burglar may be alerted to his presence.
With each step toward the desk, the hair on Sailor Psi's neck stood a bit more on edge. Both Psi and Pathos peered over the desk warily, waiting for the burglar to come out, when-
"Gotcha."
With a grimace and a squint that shouted "Doh," Sailor Psi slowly turned to face the very man he'd been pursuing, who had been behind him all along. Now equipped with a gun that was cocked and pointing directly toward the Crisis Senshi, the criminal had an arrogant grin on his face. Standing in the doorway, the villain was outlined by the light of the moon, appearing somehow ethereal in his self-righteousness.
"Make one move," the burglar chuckled as he shook the gun with each word. "Go ahead, try it," he continued to gloat as he slowly backed away.
How could this be happening? He was getting away! Sailor Psi looked as if all his hopes had been crushed in one fell swoop. Maybe he wasn't cut out for this...maybe Misora, Kyoko and even Pathos were right. Why was he chosen, anyway? With a frustrated sigh, the boy stared anxiously at the criminal that was escaping.
He had to DO something...but what? What could someone like Mujou do? After all, when he'd tried before to stop a villain he'd ended up nearly killing the very person he'd wanted to save. Taking off his mask reluctantly, Sailor Psi looked to the ground, downtrodden. As the violet mask fell to the floor, Psi looked as though his dreams were crushed. It was quite the pitiful sight.
It was, in fact, very much quite the pitiful sight; Pearl immediately wished that he had brought some popcorn or some Pocky or some other kind of crunchy snack to watch the whole scene with. The criminal was mashing his gun into Sailor Psi's face, which was entertainment central as well as being faintly phallic.
Well, also violent, but what did anyone expect - the robber's soul glowed like a blacklight, shining darkly, one of those rare individuals who was so dissipated in their own evil that their brilliant soul went the other way entirely. Oh, this was awesome! Not only would Sailor Psi be horribly, messily shot, but then maybe Pearl could use the Consumption to get a nice fresh dark soul for his be-lov-ed Mara, and also he would have a new boyfriend that he only paid a small amount of money for (a thought so blatantly, worryingly homosexual that he didn't even investigate it).
Life was good.
"Muj-er, Sailor Psi!" Pathos whispered anxiously at his senshi. "What are you doing? We're going to die if you don't stop him!"
With a sigh, the boy gave a sideways glance to Pathos and a visible pout. "Pathos, what can I do? He's got me at gunpoint!" Kicking his mask a little, Sailor Psi's brows furrowed with worry.
A wing brushed Psi's ear, seemingly encouraging him. "Come now," Pathos whispered urgently to the boy. "I know how scary this must be for you, but think what will happen if you die! As much as some may be afraid to admit it, you are a Crisis Senshi - the last hope for all of existence!" The owl was now treading nervously in place on Sailor Psi's shoulder as the robber continued to edge out of the store, glaring at the pair.
"Listen, Mujou," Pathos continued, caring not a bit about revealing the senshi's identity. This was an emergency - a crisis! "You were chosen for a reason. Mana help me, I have yet to understand WHAT that reason might be, but it exists! You have to start believing in yourself NOW, or there won't be time to later."
Peering over at the owl, Sailor Psi's eyes opened up to the size of golf balls - Pathos, encouraging him? Since when?! Ever since Mujou had put that mask on, all day Pathos had been...
...An idea popped into the mind of the senshi of...well, the mind!
"You really thought you'd get away, didn't you?" Sailor Psi shouted (a bit too loudly for Pathos' ears) at the now-shocked robber. "This will teach you to underestimate a Crisis Senshi!"
With a brief blink of Psi's eyes, the violet mask that had a moment ago fallen to the floor now sprang into action, rushing past the robber in a violet streak and making a good cut on the back of his gun hand. With a small yelp from the burglar, the weapon was dropped to the ground. In another instant, the fern previously perched atop the secretary's desk had smacked the burglar fully in the face, knocking him unconscious.
Slowly stepping toward the burglar, Sailor Psi lifted the man's arm to ensure he was subdued. With a somewhat girlish shriek of "Yatta," (which was, again, rather loud for Pathos, whose ashamed face was hidden by his wing) Sailor Psi bounced up and down a few times. Finally sick of the tremors from his senshi's enthusiasm, Pathos chose instead to hover a few feet away from the Crisis Senshi.
That would be the last time Pathos would decide praise was a good form of encouragement for the young senshi.
What the hell?
Why did the senshi have to pick now to suddenly be competent? And there was his ridiculous telekinetic power all over again - that was going to be annoying! Really annoying! It hadn't gone at all how Pearl had expected it to; obviously the criminal was so ridiculous that he had absolutely underestimated Captain Purple Mask. Pearl's rosy plans of Consumption and dancing merrily over Psi's dead body dissipated away into cold, hard reality - the cold, hard reality of Psi having won.
Pearl jumped down from the tree branch and crunched his way through the broken glass, looking incredibly peeved as he poked his head through the doorway. The alarm had stopped ringing, which was a relief.
"Well," he said petulantly, "at least you did something right, Crisis Senshi! Oh my god I bet he is dead. You are probably up for MURDER. So much for being a superhero, huh, mister? You're a MURDERER. With a capital MUUUURD."
Stuttering a little, Sailor Psi's previously-ecstatic indigo eyes widened even further and threatened to tear up. "I...I what?"
With a peck at the senshi's head, Pathos interjected, "Don't you listen to that Black Moon brat, Sailor Psi! The burglar is clearly still breathing." The owl brushed his beak with a wing, seeming to snuff his nose at the obnoxious villain that had appeared.
His confidence renewed at the owl's words, Sailor Psi smiled at Pathos and nodded, turning to look at Pearl with a glare. "How dare you appear uninvited to an innocent senshi's training?" Pathos flinched a bit at his companion giving away their purpose for the entire evening, but shook it off and stared Pearl down once again alongside Psi.
"I am Sailor Psi, Senshi of Telekinesis and Perception," the Crisis Senshi shouted (yet again, blowing out his guardian's eardrums as if Pearl were blocks away). "In the name of-"
"Oh for Heaven's sake!" Pathos interrupted once more, glaring at Sailor Psi. "This is no time for theatrics; get that annoying little twerp before I am forced to pull her pretty little locks out myself!" the owl hooted, seemingly a little too happy at the thought of clawing at Pearl's hair.
"Your owl has the fabled gift of eyesight, for indeed, I am incredibly pretty!" Pearl tossed his beautiful locks back out of his eyes. They were, at least, well-conditioned. The loss of one strand to Misora still rankled, though. "However, 'twerp' is a label I totally object to! En garde!"
He cart wheeled forward; nimbly flipping over the slumbering body of the robber, who had a total date with Consumption in a little bit if Pearl had anything to say about it. The Black Moon Clanner put his hands up in some weird kind of boxing stance; of course, Pearl was about as good as fist fighting as a housecat, but who cared? All he needed was to get close. "So, are you a man or a mouse? Or maybe you just can't hit a girl, is that it?! Ha ha ha! Chivalry loses the day!"
"Pretty all right...pretty annoying," Sailor Psi retorted with a playful grin. Pathos chortled beneath a wing, despite the fact that the last thing in the Universe Mujou could ever be was intentionally funny. "Going around stealing souls, making life a burden for a hard-working Crisis Senshi...why, in the name of the mind, I'll punish you!"
With a finger outstretched at his opponent, Sailor Psi glared the glare of a boy that liked to play way too much Sailor Moon. Just before unleashing a Psycho Cannon in the face of his opponent, though, Psi stopped cold.
Something was severely wrong with this Pearl character, and for some reason Sailor Psi could not figure out what it was. She seemed...not to be what she claimed, though it was fuzzy...
"...Are you sure you're that young?" Sailor Psi suddenly blurted, causing an exasperated Pathos to deadpan. Folding his arms, Psi's combat demeanor was now completely gone, and a look of genuine concern had come over his face. "...I mean, maybe you're in denial? My grandmother got that way about her age too, you know."
"WHAT?!"
Pearl's shriek was enough to raise the rafters, every inch a mopey teenage denial. He - she - immediately burst into loud, noisy sobs, brokenheartedly sobbing in what seemed to be a very real, vulnerable way. "How can you?! How could you? You're so - so - meeeeaaaan! I'm just little! I try hard! I moisturize after I exfoliate! You're gonna give me a complex which will lead me into lots of unfulfilling relationships with inappropriate men and probably even an eating syndrome as I try desperately to be pretty by starving myself and aiming for an unrealistic body type!"
Rolling his eyes, Sailor Psi had no pity for the demonic little soul-stealer. "You're not fooling anyone," he spat at the now-toddler in front of him. "I mean, I guess I was wrong - maybe you are really that young, but geez, come off it! Age is only skin deep, you know!" he chided with a poor proverb, sounding like a certain character from one of his favorite manga.
"Sailor Psi," Pathos scolded his charge. "Please, let's just get this over with before that...thing...can get away with a soul."
Straightening up at the mention of souls, Sailor Psi glared down at Pearl...who was still crying. Finally giving in, he knelt down to the little girl's level, grabbing her by the shoulder (hard enough, he thought, to keep her from pulling any moves) and staring pityingly into her eyes. "Look, why don't you just get on out of here? We can forget this whole thing ever happened, and you won't have to hurt anyone, okay?"
Pathos glared at Psi, but the senshi was not wholly unprepared. A piece of glass, a remnant from the broken door, was hovering just feet behind Pearl, ready to slice straight at the villain if she got out of control.
Pearl gave one last, tragic sniff; but then, rather unusually, her high-pitched voice trailed back into what was nearly a tenor as she said "Sucker," and touched Sailor Psi's hand. "Halfway back! Newborn reversion!"
A pale light suddenly spread through the Crisis Senshi's hand; it was a glowing pinpoint, seemingly harmless, but then his hand started to shrink. It didn't shrink too rapidly - obviously the attack wasn't to make him minute - but everything else was shrinking too; like a piece of paper touched with a lit taper, with Sailor Psi suddenly and arrestingly going all the way back through his years to what seemed about eight or nine. Pearl was laughing hysterically, clutching his arms to his sides and stumbling back as he mercilessly giggled at the sight.
"Who's young now?" he taunted, which wasn't exactly a good taunt in anyone's books. The pale-haired villain nudged the unconscious robber with his foot. "Might as well take this guy's soul now, unless you want to - ha ha - trade Pokemon cards! Get it? You are young and so you'll want to trade Pokemon cards! Boy, you were not an attractive kid, were you?"
Pearl knelt down; unknowingly, Psi was suddenly privy to something that Sailor Neptune had seen with Pearl's leader Mara, as Pearl's hand twisted through skin and muscle and flesh intangibly to grasp at something deeper within. He searched around for some kind of intangible shadow, strange lights flickering at the point of connection between hand and body, fishing around until he obviously found something and started to draw it out.
Left speechless and now half his previous height, Sailor Psi stared at his hands in horror. "Oh, no!" he cried in a now-unbroken voice. "Pathos, what do I do?!"
Pathos himself was at a loss for words, stammering and close to laughing himself if the situation weren't so dreadfully serious. Without much other option, Pathos dove at Pearl, making to peck for the villain's face. "Unhand that soul, you hideous little wench!" The owl hoped dearly that his lack of physical power would be made up for with insults meant for distraction.
But Chibi-Psi certainly wasn't down for the count. Focusing his mind on that piece of glass that had just moments before been lying still on the ground, Psi brought the glass cleanly across Pearl's arm. "You meanie!" the little boy yelled at his opponent, his arms ever-so-adorably akimbo.
"Ow!"
The glass didn't manage to strike Pearl anywhere drastic, but it still cut cleanly through flesh, which hurt like hell; he dropped the soul and swore loudly - (since he was Pearl, consisted of "oh, DARN") - having to strike his hand back to try and fish for the soul again in the robber's body. His free hand was trying desperately to fend off a large, pissed-off owl. In general, life had gone from sweet to terrible. "Ow! You little spore! That hurt! Ow! Call off your dumb bird!"
Taking a deep breath, Psi could see that these attempts to stop Pearl were feeble. With few remaining options, the Senshi of Telekinesis did something very un-telekinetic...
...and ran, screaming like a 5-year-old, toward Pearl, fists flailing.
Tripping over his now-over-sized fuku, Sailor Psi made a desperate - if not completely harmless - dash, in the nude, for his enemy, and pounced on her like some sort of rabid Chihuahua. Tiny 9-year-old fists beat down upon Pearl's back, as Pathos still tried futilely to peck at that pretty little face.
All the while, Chibi-Psi screamed "Diediediediediediediediedie!" like some little Power Ranger, not realizing just how ridiculous his efforts were.
The situation had gone from bad to insanely super bad, especially with both a tiny naked senshi and a crazed guardian owl pecking at him. Pearl decided that there was, in fact, a downside to the Newborn Reversion power, and never ever ever to use it on Psi again, for obvious and tragic reasons.
"YOU ARE NAKED," he shrilled. And: "THAT IS ILLEGAL."
It was almost even not funny. Pearl clutched the soul to his chest and laughed helplessly even as he got beat on, trying to push Psi away because oh GROSS, wading his way through both owl and clingy child to the door.
Unfortunately for both Pearl and Sailor Psi, the spell's effects were not as long as either had expected, and the senshi's limbs were slowly growing back to their normal size. While this may at first have seemed a beneficial event, it also made movement extremely awkward, and Psi found himself slowly growing on top of Pearl, eventually becoming so tall that he himself was large enough to squash Pearl beneath his (very much still naked) body.
"What the...?" Sailor Psi cried out as he found himself grown again. "What was the point of your power, you little creep?!" he shouted, slapping Pearl upside the head.
Meanwhile, Pathos had lost his nerve at the sight of his once-again "adult" senshi in the nude. "Sailor Psi, put some clothes on!" the owl cried desperately, covering his own eyes with his wings in shame.
"RAPE," shrieked Pearl, in a voice that was like an ambulance siren. He was attempting to squirm away for dear life, still shrieking like an air-raid klaxon, eventually managing to push Psi off enough so that he could jump to his feet and dart out the door. At least in the open, there was more room to move, and also more room to scream a lot into the dark campus.
"How can you call me a creep, you sicko!" Pearl demanded.
Frantically, Sailor Psi recalled his hat to his hand via telekinesis, and using it to cover certain unmentionables, ran outside after the wretched little girl.
"What do you mean, rape?!" he shouted across the street. "I didn't even do anything...did I?" This last part sounded more as if he was genuinely curious if he'd passed any bases with the little spore. What a horror that would be!
Shaking these thoughts off (along with rather unpleasant mental images), Sailor Psi pointed at his opponent with his free hand. "How dare you strip a Sailor Senshi of his fuku?! Psycho..."
Charging up a beam just for Pearl, Sailor Psi released a ray of violet mental energy toward a nearby street lamp, "Cannon!" hoping the pole would fall down toward Pearl. He figured if his aim was too bad to hit a person, he could at least hit something as big as a lamppost!
Through some ridiculous stroke of luck, he was right. The lamppost threatened to crush the little girl beneath its weight, and Psi crossed the fingers of his free hand hopefully.
Unfortunately, at the last moment, Pearl jumped free; the lamppost hit the ground with a terrible creak, cracking the concrete underneath it as Pearl glared daggers at Psi and Pathos. He brushed himself down, soul still clutched in one hand.
"This is the worst night EVER," he announced. "Yuck. I get to like third base accidentally with a SAILOR SENSHI and I'm BLEEDING and I absolutely, totally need some brain bleach, thank you! Gross! I hope you go to sweaty man-jail! I'm absolutely out of here, and I am not going to call you!"
With a bright flicker, tongue out as though disgusted, Pearl disappeared - soul in possession.
Cursing to himself, Sailor Psi replaced his hat to his head in a gesture of annoyance.
Upon realizing that a small crowd of passersby were now gathering to stare at him in his birthday suit (One mother covered her little girl's eyes, instead staring in shock herself), Psi quickly replaced the hat over his private area. "So sorry, everyone!" he cried, bowing deeply in embarrassment. An owl flew to perch on the senshi's shoulder, whispering in his ear that he'd left his fuku inside and he'd best hurry to put it back on.
After a few more minutes, Sailor Psi reappeared, fully clothed, back outside on the streets. Addressing his new audience of innocent civilians, the Crisis Senshi announced, "Minna-san! I have an urgent warning!" His words were accompanied, of course, by dramatic gestures one might see in an over-enthusiastic politician.
"There are villains lurking the streets of Tokyo, trying to steal people's souls! In the event of such an emergency as that which you saw today," he continued, ignoring one crowd member shouting something about a naked man being an emergency. "Please run! Call out for myself, Sailor Psi, or any other Sailor Senshi you know of - one of us will surely come running."
A few murmurs of "lunatic" and "moron" could be heard in the now-dissipating crowd. A desperate Sailor Psi ran toward the space where the audience had once been, waving his arms hopelessly. "Please wait! You don't understand the kind of danger you're dealing with..."
"Mujou," Pathos whispered to his senshi. "Maybe we should call it a day."
"But..." Sailor Psi tried vainly to protest at Pathos, but the owl was probably right - he was rather tired. Training turned out to be much more than he thought it'd be. "Well, I guess I still have a lot of training to do, right?"
Pathos pulled the owl equivalent of a shrug, and looked at Psi. "You know, even though you didn't stop him, you did fairly well," hooted Pathos, seemingly proudly. With a nod, he explained, "You're right, you will need more training...but I think now you're at least a little more centered in your duty, and I suppose that's all I can hope for, for the time being."
As the boy turned the corner, in a flash of violet light he went from Sailor Psi to Mujou once more. Smiling at his guardian's confidence, his usual bouncy steps had returned to him (to the dismay of Pathos, who was now bouncing on his shoulder rather unpleasantly). "Aw, thanks, Pathos!" exclaimed Mujou, little smiley faces practically shining from his voice. "I did really good, didn't I?" he continued with a giggle.
Pathos reluctantly decided not to respond about how he not only almost got himself killed and embarrassed himself in front of a crowd of civilians, but that he also failed to save the soul of the very criminal he apprehended. The poor boy had gone through enough for one day - the least Pathos could do was acquiesce for the time being.
"Oh, but Mujou...?"
Glancing sideways at his owl friend, the indigo-eyed college student smiled. "Hai?"
A sigh accompanied Pathos' next query, "Promise me you'll never, EVER be naked in front of me again!"
With another little chuckle, Mujou patted his owl's head and remained silent.
"I said promise!" The two argued as they walked into the sunset, Mujou remaining uncomfortably silent as his owl continued to beseech him.